My wife and I were having a hard time a while back and it didn't look like things were going to head in a very good direction. It had been a long time since we had sex and I decided that I was going to see an escort so that I could feel physically close to someone again. Afterwards, things started getting better between her and I, and we've managed to reconcile. I've been feeling really gulity since and I'm not sure what I should do. Should I tell her? Should I just keep it to myself? I want to do the right thing but we've been doing so well and I don't want to ruin where we're at right now. I could really use some advice from men who have been in the same position, or from escorts who have seen a situation like this as well.

This is a pretty tough spot you're in @Stallion1. It's completely understandable that you might have done something like this when you and your wife were going through a difficult time. It makes sense that you feel bad, but at the same time you could think a number of other things. You could think that maybe seeing an escort was one of the reasons on your end that you decided to make things work out with your wife. Maybe you needed to get out some frustrations that you were having and this was the best way for you to do that. Maybe it helped you to realize that you still really wanted your wife. If that's the case, do you really think that telling her would be a good idea? There are a lot of reasons why marriages go through difficult times and bumpy patches in the road. Sometimes it can be the most unlikely things that help to put them back together. I've been with more than one man who was in the same situation that you were in and did the same thing. Some ended up parting from their wives and some also decided to work things out with their spouses. Things in life aren't always simple. Sometimes even the reasons why things end up working out for the best aren't simple, either. I would look at it like this and say that maybe you don't know everything that your wife has done, either. Maybe she's done the exact same thing. The truth is that you'll probably never know and when you think about it, do you really need to know? If that had happened, would you want to know? Some things are better left buried and unsaid. If you and your wife are really doing better now and you're both really happy together again, then this is something that you can keep as a memory and a lesson for yourself, and just let it go. It seems silly to consider jeopardizing what you have again if you're back on track.

I'm glad that I have a chance to address this particular situation because I definitely have some good advice to give about this. A few years ago my wife and I were in the same situation and it didn't look like things were going to work out. I don't know your situation but there are children involved in mine. I didn't really know what to do at the time because we had lost all of the intimacy we had once shared and we weren't having sex at all. I ended up seeing an escort and much like yourself, things started getting a lot better between my wife and I afterwards. We were on an upward swing and everything was good between us. We found our way back to your marriage again and and we were happy. I felt so guilty about what had happened though, and after about a year I had decided to tell her. Biggest mistake of my life. If I could go back and redo anything, it wouldn't be the escort experience, it wouldn't be anything else I've ever done - except for telling her. Just like JennyR said. There are some things that we do in life that are simply meant to be buried and forgotten. This would definitely be one of those things. I know that you're feeling guilty and that you probably feel like telling her would be the right thing to do, but believe me it isn't. If you love your wife and you are both happy together again, then let it go. You don't need to feel badly about it, you don't need to tell her about it, you don't need to ever think about it again. If you can't get it off of your mind then try thinking about it from a different perspective, like perhaps from ther perspective that it was one of the reasons why you were able to work things out. Honestly, don't make the same mistake I did. Things have gotten easier and I'm slowly moving on, but I'd give anything to still be with my wife and I realize that some things in life simply need to be let go of and forgotten. Believe me when I tell you that for you, this is one of those things. You didn't really do anything wrong. You weren't out to hurt her. You are human and humans make mistakes. Just look at it that way, and forget about it.

Man I'm really sorry to hear about your marriage. Thanks a lot for telling me this. I've probably thought about this from a million different angles, but I never really looked at it this way before and I'm glad that I have a different perspective now. I don't want to lose my wife after everything we've worked so hard to get back again, and I realize that I didn't do anything to actually hurt her, so I maybe I should continue to carry this around with me. Thanks a lot for the comments. Same from JennyR. Your advice was really good too.

man i don't think that you're going to find a whole lot of people on here who are going to tell you that you should tell your wife about this. marriages can be really complicated and they can also go through some pretty terrifying bumps in the road that make it really difficult to get through. you've got some really good advice here and if you really want to make the best of things then it's probably a good idea to take that advice. just let it go man. it was obviously something that you needed to do at the time and it's something that you'll likely never do again so don't feel bad about it. i would even say that you did the right thing because it likely did put you in a different head space than the one you were in before you decided to call an escort. lonliness and sexual frustration can cause a person to to be pretty miserable. if getting a bit of that back from someone else for a minute helped you to see things more clearly then that is a really good thing. look at it that way and strongly consider what you could lose if you decide to say anything. is it worth it?

Honey, the way I look at your situation is that this is one of the reasons why we do what we do. It's a part of our profession. You're not the first man to call an escort during hard times with his wife and you surely will not be the last. When you're lacking intimacy and physical closeness in your relationship it can make things really difficult to get through. Especially hard times within your relationship itself. I'm really sorry that you're feeling this way right now, but I'm also going to tell you that you can absolutely let this go and move on. This is what we do and if having that experience with an escort helped you to think even a little bit more clearly then wasn't it worth it?

Man, I did the same thing when I was married and I felt bad about it for a while I guess, but not really. I know that getting that frustration out and being close with someone again for that time was what I needed to do and I also know that it bought my marriage some time. In my case it doesn't look like my wife and I had what it takes to go the distance, but it really does sound like you and your wife do have what it takes and that you've moved past whatever the hard time in your marriage was. That is a really good thing man and I really don't recommend that you say anything at all to her. Just let it go. Like others have said on here, there's no need to tell her. You should consider this - you are going to hurt her far more if you do tell her than if you keep it from her. You can suffer on the inside for a little while and keep your own secret, or you can tell her, in all likelihood break her heart, and then also very likely but both of you through a divorce which is one of the worst things that you can go through. Believe me. My experience bought me more time and I don't regret it for a minute. If your experience has actually managed to help bring you towards a genuine reconciliation, then just be grateful for that and move on. You didn't bang her best friend or her sister. No one ever has to find out.

It's really funny how you never really can tell what someone has been through based on an online profile. These are stories that are much deeper than I would have thought of, and I'd have to agree with every single one of them. This is a very difficult situation - but when you really think about it, how difficult is it? You don't really need to think about it anymore. You did what you did and in the end it even ended up helping you, so let that be the end of it and just move on. You've gotten some great advice here, and to be honest I think it's very true that no one who reads this is going to tell you to tell your wife. Don't mess up what you have. Just move on.

Honey, you really don't have anything to feel bad about. You were going through a very difficult time in your marriage and you needed a little bit of closeness and comfort with a woman. There's nothing wrong with that. You had no idea what was going to happen between you and your wife and for all you knew at the time, things were on their way to the end. Not many of us are capable of making the best decisions possible when we're under these kinds of circumstances. It's good that you do feel bad in a way because it shows how much you really care for your wife, but if you really care about her, then don't put this on her. Carry the burden yourself for as long as you need to, and don't be afraid to let it go. There's no good reason to hold onto feeling this way and it really doesn't matter when you think about it. Take it for what it is, be grateful that it may have played a small part (or who knows, maybe even a big one), in getting your marriage back on track. You've got a second chance right now. Start from here and don't look back. Look at it like this: every step that you took over the past while got you and your wife to where you are right now. That is something to feel good about. Maybe if you had done anything differently, things wouldn't have worked out this way. Maybe they would have continued to go downhill. Remember that.

Really wow. This is so different from what I expected. I've been thinking a lot about this and about what everyone has been saying. I'm really glad that I reached out on here and I really thank everyone for replying. For sharing stories and for giving me different perspectives, I really really do appreciate it. I've decided I'm not going to tell her and that I'm going to move on and be grateful that we've found another chance to make things work. I really never looked at things this way and I'm glad that I decided to ask for different perspective because I'm really seeing things differently now.

Sounds to me like you're making the right decision man. Just put it all behind you and move forward. Nothing but good things and good times ahead. If we see you on here again we'll know that you said something to the wife. lol

I think that this is my favourite thread of all that I've read on here. Wow. This is really great. Lots of great advice and I really hope that things work out for you and your wife. Bad times happen but it looks like you're going to get through this and that you've come through the other side already. That's what we're here to help you do, and if you end up in the same situation again. Don't be afraid to reach out.

vik_tor_111

Sounds to me like you're making the right decision man. Just put it all behind you and move forward. Nothing but good things and good times ahead. If we see you on here again we'll know that you said something to the wife. lol

I agree with you, its all in the past and he did it while they were in a rough road with his wife, its not like he really intend to cheat and besides he will not do it if they're in good terms.